Vegan Ortolan is an animal-free version of the cruelest dish ever invented.
Vegan Ortolan is an ongoing cooking contest to make the best vegan simulation of the cruelest meat dish ever invented: the Ortolan. The sheer number of ingredients and skills needed to simulate the bones, organs and flesh of a small bird is enormous. Making this simulation a truly delicious experience is even more difficult.
This project appears to be a form culinary absurdism, but the process is also a form of cultural exorcism that allows the novel culinary culture of veganism to replace animal cruelty with culinary complexity and abundance. In order to succeed, novel food movements need to be beautiful, delicious and open to experimentation.
Bruno Latour tries the Vegan Ortolan.
The traditional preparation of the ortolan bird in France demands that they are captured alive, force-fed, drowned in Armagnac and eaten whole. Although it is illegal to prepare and eat, the dish retains a forbidden attraction for some adventurous eaters. What better way to challenge the skills of a chef than to create a vegan recipe which simulates the experience of crunching through the skin, guts and bones of a small bird, without using any animal products?
This dish is intended to be consumed in the traditional way — with a large napkin covering the head and the face — to keep the flavours in, and to hide one’s shame from God. _Tasting notes for traditionally-prepared ortolan emphasize the rich foie gras like taste of the flesh, the crunch of the many tiny bones and the bitterness of the guts.
Vegan Ortolan Ver. 1.0 by Center for Genomic Gastronomy & Heather Julius / Special Snowflake Studio
VEGAN ORTOLAN RECIPE
BY THE CENTER FOR GENOMIC GASTRONOMY & SPECIAL SNOWFKAKE STUDIO
The traditional preparation of the ortolan bird in France demands that they are captured alive, force-fed, drowned in Armagnac and eaten whole. Although it is illegal to prepare and eat, the dish retains a forbidden attraction for some adventurous eaters. What better way to challenge the skills of a chef than to create a vegan recipe which simulates the experience of crunch- ing through the skin, guts and bones of a small bird, without using any animal products? This dish is intended to be consumed in the traditional way — with a large napkin covering the head and the face — to keep the flavours in, and to hide one’s shame from God. Tasting notes for traditionally-prepared ortolan emphasize the rich foie gras like taste of the flesh, the crunch of the many tiny bones and the bitterness of the guts.
INGREDIENTS
1 package of Inari fried tofu pockets [or aburaage, fried tofu skin]
150 ml Armagnac, eau de vie or brandy
16 dried figs
1 red onion1 bottle Belgian ale
4 g hops flowers
16 thin slivers of preserved lemon plus preserved lemon brine to taste 4 umeboshi, Japanese pickled plum, pitted and chopped [optional] 60 g Shiitake mushroom
16 g firm tofu
240 ml unsweetened almond milk
3 cloves of garlic
10 x 10 cm piece of seaweed [preferably Konbu or Wakame]
Almond oil
10 g sugar
200 ml soy sauce
5 tbsp mirin
5 tbsp sake
1 package vegan crispy Asian chow mein noodles
2 package vegan dried ramen noodles
INSTRUCTIONS
SERVES: 8 PEOPLE
PREP TIME: 25 MINUTES
COOKING TIME: 15 MINUTES
Prepare the drowned figs: Warm 60 ml of Armagnac, brandy or eau de vie in a pan; place dried figs in a small bowl and cover with the warmed liquor. Set aside.
Prepare the guts: Cut 3 thin slices from a purple onion. Divide further into thin slivers. Cut 4 thin slices from a preserved lemon and cut into slivers. Place onion and lemon in a small glass or ceramic bowl with the hop flowers. Cover with Belgian ale and set aside.
Prepare the body shell: Drop the aburaage into boiling water for a couple of minutes to remove the surface oil. Strain and blot gently to remove additional oil. Set aside. Add almond oil to lightly coat the surface of the pan. Add soy, mirin, sake and sugar to taste (you may not use all 10 grams). Add the aburaage and briefly brown each side, approximately 2 minutes. Set aside.
Make the body stuffing: Combine mushrooms, almond milk, garlic, seaweed and firm tofu and half of figs in a small pan over medium heat. Cook until mushrooms and garlic are soft. Remove and discard [or snack on] seaweed. Using a food mill or blender, make a chunky puree and place in a pan on the stove to keep warm.
Assemble the ortolans: Cut ortolan-sized pieces of the inari about 8 centimeters long and 3 centimeters wide. Cut a slit through one side and gently pull the sides apart to make room for stuffing. Place a few fried chow mein noodles and broken pieces of vegan ramen into the cavity. Spoon the mushroom and tofu mixture inside. Push slivers of onion, preserved lemon, umebosh [if using] and 1 hop flower into the lower third of each ortolan to approximate the bitterness of the guts. Place a few more chow mein noodles and vegan ramen pieces into the stuffing. Garnish each ortolan witha drowned fig to approximate the head and beak. Warm ortolans in the oven prior to serving, if necessary. Just before serving, spritz the entire creation with the liquor used to soak the fig.